I dont like how people do something wrong.. then afterwards they want to be babied even though they knew not to do what they did.

and then they get mad at ME for being negative.. well maybe im not negative and you just dont like what you hear.. the truth.


i want out of town.
i want new people i can call friends.. i want everything to start over..

people dont take into account that it can hurt my feelings when you call me negative, but i dont like cheaters.. even if you are family, dont make that mistake after i try to help you and steer you the right way.. then cheat and get mad at me for not being sensitive..


my newest pet peeve?
the words "Long Story"
piss me the fuck off.


I really want to move and start anew, im sure no one will miss me much.
all i need is Dan to start a new life with me.. he is happy here, im screwed.

Puppies

I want some puppies 3 to be exact and I want to name them.
Nobu
Yasu
Shooka

I think those are good names

laying in bed

At the moment I am laying in my bed, trying out this mobile version of BlogSpot.
So far not bad.

Anyways... I am very tired but I cannot sleep, I mean I was the one that suggested going to bed. But I found out I just wanted to lay here and talk.. But Dan never fails at falling asleep very quickly which kinda sucks because I have been cursed with insomnia and I never fall asleep at a decent time, ill just lay here and think about random shit and stare at the wall, eh oh well happens to everyone right?

I wanted to sleep forever this morning my body did not want me to get up ugh I hate it when that happens.

Went to the creamery with Dan and David it was fun but their taco salads suck ass will never get that again that's for sure. David got really drunk, and he is really annoying in the movie theatres drunk,I almost punched him. I did want to curse at the lady behind us that was narrarating EVERYTHING! Omfg it was annoying.


My fingers hurt from texting this sooo.. Later.

Its Warm

I wish i had an interesting life, i really do. i am not saying this because i am bored at the moment... to tell the truth i am feeling nothing. i am not upset or annoyed so i dunno why i feel the way i do right now. i feel like i am at complete standstill and absolutely nothing is happening, but at the moment a lot is happening.

I wish i can control every single aspect of my life.
I wish that everything went as planned.
I wish for life to be more spontaneous in a good way.

But for now the only thing i ever want to do is sit at home and watch random videos that fit with my mood. My body doesn't want to do anything, and when i get the spark to do something.. it never happens.
But to tell the truth i love sitting at home, laying in bed from time to time just relaxing, savoring a quiet moment and just talking about the past and the future... but i have no one that wants to just lay there and do so.. even though i have the right person to do that with.

I am very much so in love.
I am always confused.
I am always scared.

I am not depressed.
I am not sad.
I am not lonely.

I just feel emotionless at the moment, for once i have friends that i feel i can trust. I have known for years and not once have done anything wrong or hurtful to me, but actually seem like they want me around. I'm glad i came out of my box and sat at their table :)

I think i am to young for my current want. Sometimes i think my mother shouldn't of let me move out. But i love every minute of being away from my mother and being able to be independent. My mother is not a bad mother, but she also isn't the greatest but she raised me to what i am and i am grateful.

Currently my body over heats quickly and i feel as if i should just walk around naked at all times.
I have noticed my eye site is getting worse, i don't recognize people from across the room i have to go by voice.


Brittany, Thank you for being there for me.
you seem like the only person that i can fully trust with everything. you and me are so much alike its scary, and i know we are trapped in our own boxes and trust so few, We have maybe 3 people we talk about everything with and that consists on our significant other and our mothers. And every time we talk about something that might be bothering me you say something like "their loss" and for some reason it makes me feel special don't ask why i dont even know ^.^

It's late almost 4am


Goodnight.

Drag on and on

At the moment i am sick, i have been for like 2 weeks now blows!
i missed school all my A's i was proud of are now D's because i missed 5days.. fuck!
at the moment people are taking dumb shit out on me, which is fine i just ignore most of it.
almost out of school then i can really start my life :)
cant wait less than 3 effing months to go!! i cant believe i might actually make it.


I've hooked up with some old friends and its been amazing, almost forgot what it was like to do shit on the weekends, and it so much fun :) never thought people would be calling to come hang out at my place, awkward haha.
Could be tons better if i wasn't sick, that's for damn sure.

I hate how people don't ask anymore they just assume or want.

Currently i would love to leave K-Falls, but so much is going right at the moment:

1. Graduation
2. Buying a home
3. Friends
   
4. Drama free as of this year, except when ppl are on their man periods
5. Love is still burning
6. Got a kitty
7. Got a life..

Sure nothing is perfect, but right now... is bliss..

>_<

Wow i was looking at my last post, i look like a druggie haha.

i haven't done this blog thing in awhile so maybe ill start at it again.

I have been really sick this past week, i have not been to school since Friday and i just recently found out that the school will not accept me until i have the fucking doctors note. complete bullshit. i can hardly talk i pretty much text what i want to say to Dan because it hurts so much to talk now. It's my fault really, when i feel better i go out and make it worse like a effing dumb ass.

i am overly pissed at my neighbor she is a backstabbing bitch, she has like 10 people over every weekend and when i finally have people over she complains on us. i mean fuck her friends are louder than shit and i have not said a fucking thing. She is just angry because my cousin wants nothing with her psychopath behavior and the fact that she cant be by herself ever there has to be at least 3 people with her at all times. which its obvious she complained on us because my cousin was with us, and i didnt want her to come because there was someone that i knew he would like to meet that wasnt a complete immature idiot. i really dont care if she hates me lol im probably gonna have her mother at my door after she ends up reading this, which by the way... your 18.. grow the fuck up kthx. (Caroline wants Marcial by the way its obvious)


on a good note, this week has not been completely horrible went and saw Black Label Society, Dope and Archer yesterday. i shoudnt of went it just made me sicker but thats okay :)

I havnt played much WoW since i got sick, i havnt been in the mood to put up with annoying people. i am upset about the school situation. i felt as if i was doing really good i finished my paper on my Project but i havent been to school in five days im sure it has fucked me up pretty good, especially since this week is a grading week. Next week then speing break :)

New hair.

I just got my hair cut yesterday, surprisingly i really like it.
Excuse my bad pictures.

Annoyance

Annoyance- "is an unpleasant mental state that is characterized by such effects as irritation and distraction from one's conscious thinking. It can lead to emotions such as frustration and anger. The property of being easily annoyed is called petulance. "Annoy" (like the French ennui, a word traced by etymologists to a Latin phrase, in odio esse, to be "in hatred" or hateful of someone), to vex or affect with irritation or large porportions. In the sense of "nuisance," the noun "annoyance" is found in the English "Jury of Annoyance" appointed by an act of 1754 to report upon obstructions in the highways."



I have come to realize that there is many things, almost to many that actually annoy me, bad or not i don't care.
some of these things are pretty average things:

-People complaining about being bored 24/7
-People that always eat out because they cant make do with whats in their house, and they have pretty much everything in their house just lazy [make sense?]
-Bums that have no legs or one arm... they can get disability or SS or something I'm sure.
-People ragging on "young love" [jealousy]
-People that think that people under 25 having kids is immature or stupid, should blow me, sure they might not know much but they'll learn and probably be awesome parents.
-My sisters being sexually active.
-People that don't tell there significant other they might have or do have an STD [hasn't happened to me, but have ruined some of my friends]
-Being jobless.
-Dan leaving for long periods of time for military business.
-My legs.
-Hair on the body.. except the head.
-Me having to write down random shit because it will stay in my head if i don't.
-the fact that I'm putting everything in a public blog because i know people will read it even if it were private.
-the afterlife.
-World of Warcraft.
-Hypocrites.
-Me in general.
-Dan when he is being a stubborn ass.
-Weight.
-Probably you.



im all out, cant think of anymore, i know i will when i'm done.. oh well

in the making

This and that.
[because i can]

House M.D.
Indie music makes me chill.
Techno music makes me sing.
Metal is just metal.
I usually don't like to wear makeup, except eyeliner.
DDR was one of my specialty's.
Procrastination FTL but I'm good at it.
I trust very few, but like many.
I haven't had a short relationship in a long time.
I have a kitten named Paul.
I want to be a vet.
I want to be in a band.
I love sexual things.
Hentai <3
Anime <3
Sex<3
Love<3

I do not plan on being in Oregon forever, but i do plan to make a life here and move it elsewhere in the distant future, i am in no hurry.

Love snow.
Hate cold.
Loves rain.
Lightening storms are beautiful.

World of Warcraft.
Call of Duty.
Lara Croft.
Final Fantasy.
DDR.
Shooters.
RPG's.
Dress up games.
Board games.
All of it, it's all amazing.

Kittens, not cats
Dogs, not puppy's

ℜesolutions

1. Get a job
2. Eat better, lose weight
3. Graduate
4. pass every class
5. Stay in love ♥
6. Get a tattoo
7. Do what i plan doing
8. Try college at least once
9. Stop sitting on my ass and do something